Random musings

A woman I admire greatly, let slip that her boys are usually in bed by 830pm. It is almost 9pm now and I'm looking over at D2 who is doing something probably high tech, frighteningly advance and hopefully still legal, on the internet. The child shows no signs of going to bed.

It's occurred to me at various times that the remodel represents more than just additional square footage to me. It represents hope that a certain type of lifestyle or home environment will develop.

Given that I devour any book with the words "declutter" in the title and line my bookshelves with books on home and time management, I confess to feeling slightly guilty that somehow my/our lifestyle has necessitated adding on more space.

Significantly more space.

In self defense, it's one of those "oh while you're here...." and "if you're going to be tearing THAT down, why don't you...." scenarios. Witness how we are contemplating enlarging the kitchen now....

We started with four bedrooms, two bathrooms, kitchen, family room, dining room, formal living room, breakfast nook, utility. Now we will have who knows what by the time we are done.....seriously....

It took us several years to get to this point. D2 is looking forward to his gameroom which is now much larger than planned due to the design/engineering issue. Silver lining indeed. He loves to play with playmobile and has elaborate sets out at any given time. A friend once walked into the family room to find playmobil battle and all the fiddly bits and pieces all about and commented, "You're good to let them play out here."

I gathered that "out here" meant "Wow, you let him make such a big mess in a public area?"

During the last two months before we moved out, I asked him to move his play into his bedroom. Chaos reigned.

So,it is with great anticipation that I too, look forward to the boys having a dedicated area to play and set up their eloborate battles and not have to put it away because company is coming, because if you're in the middle of the Napoleonic or Revolutionary wars, it's all dreadfully inconvenient to have to complete the battle in 30 minutes just because someone is coming over. After all, it took them nearly 100 years to get through all that fighting.....

There are other things I'm looking forward to- having a walk in pantry. Someone said, "How much storage does a family of four need anyway?!" We'll find out for sure.

The mudroom. Whereas previously, the backdoor opened into the utility/catch all room, I will now have a separate utility room AND a proper mudroom with closets....

My own office. Having kicked both boys upstairs, I can claim one bedroom as a study. For those who share offices, or work in an open home office, bless you. You clearly are nicer people than I am. I can't work with any noise in the background. In my defense, working with itty bitty numbers and having to check all the decimal points makes anyone a bear to be around. And yes, I know I do have an office at work, but since I can work from home, I do.

A study area/computer room for the boys. D1 started middle school when I took over the dining table to complete my thesis. I learned that he is a "spreader" (and a procrastinator...clearly the apple did not fall far from this tree). I'm a firm believer in having a dedicated study area. I believe it fosters better habits to have his books in the SAME place all the time, and to have it removed from all other distractions. It's just a personal opinion and not judgement on anyone else who manages without. The spreading habit is just his way of working. And unfortunately, the procrastination means that he doesn't always start or stop on time. Pushing papers to the side so we can set the table if he's on the kitchen table, or so I can locate my own stuff if he's on the dining table led to a few stressful moments.

So the long of it is that the additional space represents an ideal of how I want my family to live. I'm aware that many families do more with less space, but we haven't managed at all, much less well. It required far more energy and discipline that I could afford over the past few years with the sword of Damocles hanging over me. (I should bloody have that diploma bronzed).

So while I'm anxiously looking forward to the end of the remodel, some of that anxiety stems from wondering if like every idealised goal I've nursed, that somehow reality won't quite fit.

So perhaps rather than expecting a major life makeover, I set smaller manageable goals such as - not having to waste time looking for the #$#@#%%^#@ thing that I JUST LAID DOWN on top of all this C#%P....

or even simpler....enforcing an 8.30pm bedtime.

Incidentally, if anyone is STILL wondering why the heck anyone would need so much space, here's my answer:

Because it's Texas and everything is bigger here.